I'm going crazy in this tiny apartment. Why are people so put off to talk to me? Like, it seems I'm always the one going off trying to contact people cause "strangely" I like talking to them and I miss them but hardly ever do I get that back. And it's not just one person it's many. So what the heck is going on? People need to talk! I'm fed up with thinking it's all my fault, in fact somedays I just want to embrace the bitterness in me and cast up a white flag, as melodramatic as that sounds, it's true, and break all the ties. And maybe it's my bitching that repels, it's a legitimate standing but I need to know this in order to restrain it, I need people to talk to me and not ramble on about fluff that goes no where and help me work through my many iridescent moods.

I am a lonely person, everyone I know lives out of the area so communication is something I really need right now. That's what everything boils down to. I can't pretend to be strong.. or completely satisfied, forever.. It'd be a hell of a lot easier if I could yet, I'm only human...